Wednesday, July 20, 2011

I am conflicted

I am so completely wrapped up in my story. I keep thinking of great subplots and even greater character quirks and history bits, and little things I can change to previous chapters to make them so much better. But then I go to sit down and write and nothing happens. No, something does happen, but it's me checking my favorite blogs or stalking twitter. Then I realize I haven't gotten anything done for the past bazillion years, so I force myself to stare at the painfully white page, and after a few minutes of that I slam the computer shut (but gently, don't want to hurt my baby).

Work has been extremely busy. I'm trying to get through certain things before I leave for vacation mid-next week. I'm trying to consolidate my school loans. I get onto the train and fall asleep, and tell myself I'll take a nap and relax and write when I get home. Then I get home and there's laundry to do, various paperwork items (because they never have an end) and the I have to get a shower and suddenly it's 9:30 and I finally sit down and my mind is so frazzled I'm definitely not getting any shit done. I could be writing now. It's my lunch break. But I've been scrambling around all morning and I just can't bear to have to think of words. (So naturally, I'm blogging, which requires zero word-thought and is really just my brain-phlegm.)

I have 10k in my draft. I've already thought of several scenes I want to add in. Some, I feel like I have to write before I go on because I have to use them to work through a character's personality to be able to write the current scene. It's all a ker-jumble. Ugh. Ok. Maybe I can bang out a few sentences..... I KNOW PEOPLE. I KNOW I have to just sit down and do it. It's easier said than done, ok?

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